Looking For Belonging: An Exploration of Self
By Araceli Lopes
Thank you to Elevate Young Minds, for giving me an opportunity to share this little piece for International Women's Day. Please note that this piece may be triggering or confusing for some people. In those cases you may choose not to read it, and if you do wish to read it, take your time to simply sit with it and digest it. These are the thoughts of one person, and I don't claim to, in any shape of form, speak in someone else's behind or nor I am claiming this is the right thing for everyone to believe or live by. So here it is:
I've recently premiered my first short Film called "Looking for Belonging…" in which I narrate my personal psychological battle with trying to fit into groups or roles as I grew up versus just allowing myself to simply be myself. For this blog piece I was asked to expand a little bit on the topic of the movie and talk about how I reached the point of self acceptance and the journey I went through.
The film itself touches on so many points within me but it is indeed mainly related to Mental Health. One truth that I mention in it is that I personally still struggle a little bit with self acceptance and I think I may always will but I know now that that is not the main point as I talk about in the film.
Stepping outside of the Mental Health topic and just talking about finding self acceptance in society roles, there is a more complex story. Because I was not raised to fit into any specific "social boxes" and I believe in equal treatment for all, it is hard to live with these core values when the whole world tells you that your core values should be based on your gender role, culture and even finances. Gladly, I think the world is not so "black and white", specially thanks to all that has been accomplished by the Women's Rights Movements in this case, as well as the LGBTQ community, as well as many many more communities that are fighting to break what was once the standard and stereotypes for them. But in spite of all that has been accomplished, in my eyes there is still a long way to go to abolish discrimination of any form, towards anyone. I think the world is still pretty much grey, when in fact, we really need vivid colours.
As a Person, I was raised to believe that I could do anything that I wanted to do. Do any job, go on any adventure, do anything that I would put my mind into because it was up to me to decide what I wanted and didn't want to do in life. As a Person, I was also raised to be independent, and to not be blind to the struggles and privileges that there are in this world. I was raised to see all walks of life and treat everyone respectfully and considerately. Above all, I like to believe that I was raised to be a good and loving Human.
I am a Woman, a gender title instantly assigned to me by society due to the sexual organs I was born with.
As a child, I was raised equally to my brother. I was raised to be a person, not specifically a girl. As an early teenager my Mom felt the need to teach me the stereotypical roles of a woman in society. Despite not necessarily living by it, I am grateful for it as it prepared me and allowed me to understand how the world may first perceive me, so I know how to walk this life being my own self.
As a woman today (you may find this not surprising), I still find myself sometimes struggling with little glimpses of guilt and confusion when I see my partner sometimes washing the dishes, or when he cooks, or even, once upon a time, when I used to try and choose an outfit to go out or to go to work, because it is still very prevalent in media representation as well as in the educational treatment, the reinforcement of what a Woman should be, or should do, or how to talk or walk…
I think it is important for people to have guidance, but I find it so sad and restrictive to say to anyone that "x"(whatever it may be) it's all one should be.
There is so much more to be discussed, but I'll conclude today with my choice of beforehand identifying myself simply and above all as Human.
For anyone reading this, all that matters is what you can positively contribute to the world with. Recognize your power and motivations and create great wonders for this world. It may be as little or as big as you want it to be.
Much love,
Araceli Lopes
"Looking for Belonging" Short Film: https://youtu.be/788PBDAoeFY